LISTEN WITHOUT PREJUDICE

MORE, MORE, MORE

We have been taught to always want more. It is taken for granted that economic growth is good and recession is bad. So when GDP is up we should be too, right? Wrong.

Our parents packed us off to university and sealed our fate. With education came debt, or credit if you’d rather. We learned to listen to our brains and ignore our hearts. The intellectual trumped the visceral. The masculine energy trumped the feminine. Being direct and decisive gave the individual more credence than being sensitive and spacious. To listen whole and full heartedly, word by word, implied a lack of opinion. The insatiable ego fooled us into believing it had the answers and should be listened to at all costs.

And so now success is measured in how much or how big. Clothes, cars, houses. To do better is to have more. We live our lives in the overtime so that we can increase our credit and spending.

Credit is rated, life is spent.

A GROWING NEED TO BE PRESENT

Growth is good! We’ve just been concentrating our efforts in the wrong place. We have replaced our big hearts with big cars. We’ve forgotten how to be present and so turn up, smart phones in hand, with our minds somewhere across the globe playing Words With Friends with someone we’ve never met.

We’re neither in one place nor the other. We should be growing our presence not our followers. Or our credit.

Presence is an active move away from the ego and into a collective; the self as an integrated and complete part of a whole rather than as a separate entity within the whole.

LANGUAGE IN THE PRESENT TENSE

Being present is being wholly and mindfully in the current moment in time and in space. The idea is about being here rather than over there.

Listening to hear rather than to listening to respond. At the simplest level just being in the room, and not distracted by anything exterior to what is here now.

The present tense is present.

The word ultimately is unimportant but the concept is essential. The word is necessary because we need a common language with which to communicate, but it is the feeling that we must understand.

The feeling can only be known viscerally. Here is where our brains can no longer help us. Our minds, by their nature, want to wander. The wisdom of our guts leads us to an understanding of the importance of presence, and in turn we are able to be present.

LET GO AND LET COME

I invite you all to listen from silence. To listen without prejudice. Allow yourself to feel into what your have heard. Think in metaphors and imagery. Draw if it helps. Offer your picture as your response. See what comes back. Let go and let come. Detach yourself from the outcome. Build upon what you receive. Again let go and let come.

Be generative in conversation. Be in dialogue not debate.

This is not a soft process, it can be fierce. Truths can be spoken, even when they are uncomfortable. Especially when they are uncomfortable. When we let go of our expectations, when we detach from the outcome, we let go of paranoid sensitivity. We stop taking things personally.

Then what? The emerging future forces us to occupy our own life completely. Take our space, be as big and as loud as we can be. As we are.

Dissonance can also resonate, and so discord is not necessarily conflict. Always hold true to what is being said in the moment. Don't jump in from a place of knowing, or from a feeling that you deserve something different to that which is in front of you. That which you are living right now.

Be playful, see how connections and intimacy can grow through a big present heart.

OVER TO YOU

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I coach people who struggle with anxiety, who yearn to live a fulfilling life but feel trapped or at a crossroads so that they can experience a calmer more purposeful life. If this sounds like you, get in touch