My intentions for this year are to live with courage, purpose and connection; to be the person whom I long to be; to see and be seen.

It sounds easy as I read that back, as I retype it, starting this post where I ended my last one. But what I have discovered is that living an intentional, purposeful and connected life is the opposite of easy. It is a radical act, it is fulfilling, and it is essential. But it is not easy.

The intention is not cruel and the word courageous feels almost admirable. Inspirational even. But stepping into the vulnerability needed to be the person I am constantly becoming requires conscious choice; and all too often we allow choices to be made by the passage of time. We shy away from what we intuitively know and we allow the material content of our lives to become a measure our happiness.


Sometimes we pray for a forest fire, something to burn away the trappings and paraphernalia of modern living, knowing that from the ashes we will rise again, but this too feels wrong. We have to choose, we cannot allow the choice to be done onto us.

Living a fulfilled life is a radical act. Living a fulfilled life is making choices that are aligned to your values. Choices that honour your truth, whatever that may be. We imagine that the path to fulfillment is a yellow brick road, and at times it is.

But fulfillment and happiness are not the same thing. Sometimes they collide, and fulfillment can lead to happiness. But making choices that honour who we are does not always make us happy in the immediate.

And so fulfillment is not always a yellow brick road, sometimes it it is more like a lonely off white room.


The lonely off white room is a vulnerable place, one that we have to consciously choose to inhabit. It might seem like a place of desperate loneliness and fear but it is actually a place of expansion and growth. The radical act of fulfillment is to open the door to this off white room.

Living a life radically is living a life consciously. A life in context. To be courageous, purposeful and connected we have to look at what we are tolerating in our lives. We have to really look into the compromises we are making. We have to choose self love, it might be cliched but we have to put on our own oxygen masks before we can help anyone else. And self love is not a selfish choice, bringing a nourished you into to the world is a gift to the world.

Loving the self, yourself or your big ā€˜Iā€™, rarely starts in a state of comfort.


From this place of discomfort, our lonely off white room, we must look into why we are prepared to compromise and tolerate. What is stopping us from standing up courageously and making ourselves vulnerable? Is it shame or fear, or both, holding us motionless when we should be constant motion.

Even the stillness of space sows the seeds for forward movement.

When we choose consciously, rather than allowing life to just happen to and around us, the stakes of our decisions are much higher. The responsibility is much greater. It is a responsibility to ourselves, those around us and the world at large.


The choices we make have an impact. So choose, but choose well. And choose with intent. Indeed choose life, but know that life is not all TV and cars, the material burns and dies but our legacies survive.

What do you want your legacy to be?

And why wait to be remembered, choose it now, live it now, be known for your legacy whilst you are still able to fully inhabit and live it.

What does your lonely off white room look like? What does vulnerability feel like for you? And if you avoid it what shields do you use to protect yourself?

What are you tolerating?


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I am a fully trained Co-Active Coach, and I work with people who yearn to live a fulfilling life but feel trapped or at a crossroads. In partnership my clients and I create the environment from which they can fully experience a purposeful life.

I see life as a diverse network of stories that ultimately reveal a commonality of human emotions and feelings. Our narratives may be different and diverse in their detail but how and what we feel is common to all, regardless of gender, sexuality, age or race.

If you would like to work with or talk to me, get in touch